White Course ......... Trust in BDSM

             Today we are going to learn about Trust in the BDSM community.

           The other day we discussed Honesty, and Trust goes with Honesty, they 
           Work together, but how do we build up the Trust ? The answer is time.

           According to most vanilla people BDSM is about pain, and the sex. But
           it's not about the pain and the sex, It's about trust and honesty.

The first things I want to say about Trust is that trust comes from your self.

No one can make you trust them. We trust others to the extent that we

trust ourselves, we trust ourselves to make good decisions.

When trust is broken or betrayed, you might feel that is has been so damaged

that you can never trust again. It destroys D/s and relationships and

hobbles one's ability to relate to others because trust is one of the

key foundations in a BDSM relationship.

What does Trust mean is a D/s relationship ?

Trust is one oof the four basic building blocks to any Dominant submissive or

BDSM relationship. A successful BDSM relationship is built on this concept of Trust.

Trust is difficult to define because it means different things to different people.

And it is one of the key foundations in a BDSM relationship.

Whether it is trusting limits that will be respected, trusting of judgement  in 

making decisions, or trusting in aftercare and follow through, there

are a wide diverse range of issues to be considered.

If we look at Webster and his dictionary, we find trust is defined as "Confidence in

the integrity, ability, character, and truth of a person or thing.

One in which confidence is placed. Custody, care.

Something committed into care of another; charge. The condition and resulting

obligation of having confidence placed in one.

Reliance on something in the future, hope.

Reading that definition makes a few people I know wonder if perhaps Mr. Webster

was a participant in this lifestyle. Read through the definition a second time, 

look to see how many of those words are key elements of a Dominant/submissive

or BDSM relationship !!

In finding your Dominant, aren't you looking for someone that fits

this description perfectly ?

As a submissive, you are getting ready to turn your whole life over to Him,

you're expecting Him to have the ability to care for you,

and you're expecting He's been honest and forthright with you.

It doesn't end that simple, it's not just a matter of the Dominant being open

and honest with the submissive. The submissive also has a responsibility

to be just as open with the Dominant.

Regardless of the role in this lifestyle, misleading your partner can only

end up backfiring on you.

Whatever the cost, whatever the effort involved, both the Dominant 

and the submissive must make every effort to always be open,

honest and trustworthy.

If issues are approached in the initial stage of a relationship that you're not quite

ready to reveal to your partner, then that should be stated. 

Don't try to skirt the issue; don't try telling a "white lire" to get around it.

Be open and honest; tell your partner you are not ready to discuss that issue.

Given time, and a bit of patience, as you begin to truly trust your

partner you'll find yourself beginning to open up.

Trust, like love doesn't happen instantly. Yes, we have all learned to develope

a bit of an instinct or inner feeling, and for most of us, more often than not,

if we follow those feelings we'll find we're right. But true unquestioned

trust will take time to establish.

Trust like love, is a verb. When we trust we rely on something or someone we are

trusting. When we can be relied upon we are being trustworthy.

Even though this word is only five letters, it is very big in its meaning and in its function.

In the world of D/s trust is the foundation upon which everything else is built.

Before a submissive can give herself completely to her Dominant she must know that

she can TRUST Him.

The submissive must be able to trust the Dominant to respect the submissive's limits,

and that He will not hurt the submissive. The submissive must know that the

Dominant will always have safety first on His mind, and will not leave

the submissive without the basic necessities of life.

The Dominant must be able to trust the submissive to carry out the needed tasks,

obey, please, and to be fully faithful and safe in the same way that He,

as a Dominant, is expected to do.

Always remember that full and complete trust in your partner will be the

difference between a successful D/s relationship and a

relationship filled with hurt, fear, and anger.

You not going to just let someone tie you up if you don't trust them are you ?

So without Trust in a BDSM relationship you don't have one of the main

building blocks of the very foundation that your D/s relationship is built on.

Be Predictable ---- predictability builds trust.

Be Reliable -- Trust is just another way of saying you can rely on someone.

You trust your Dominant/submissive to do certain things no matter what at all times.

This trust builds security in a Dominant/submissive relationship.

The same thing is true when you are able to depend on all the other things

that happen in a relationship to be just as reliable.

Mean What you say --- Your partner can read your face better than anyone else.

If you are lying, or trying to hide some true feeling by not quite sayinng

all that is on your mind, they will be able to tell. They might even think you

are cheating, which can tear down the trust in your relationship.

When they know they can trust whatever comes out of your mouth without

hesitation, they you are building a bond that can be unshakable.

Have faith in your Dominant/submissive capabilities. In other words, if you believe 

at all  that they are not competent in somethings, or all things they do, your

trust in them will not be solid. If this is the case, you need to be up front with them

on the issues in an honest and loving manner. This will allow you to 

work through this and keep the trust with each other.

Be up front with each other ---- Don't keep anything hidden, nothing should be

privileged and kept from the other. You have to know that sooner or

later all things come to light, and the consequences of not being

completely truthful will kill the trust and ruin your relationship.

Trust your Dominant --- How can your Dominant trust you when you don't 

trust Him ?? Having trust takes two people, and without one person building

trust too, it's like a fish without water.

What happens when you are in an online Dominant/submissive relationship ?

Because then TRUST is the only answer because in most relationships,

the Dominant provides a formal structure that the submissive must  adhere to.

If the relationship is long distance, the Dominant only has the submissive's 

word that they are adhering to boundaries, and truly performing tasks

established by the Dominant.

The Dominant must trust in the submissive's word that they are doing

as they are directed. Sometimes, it is so tempting to merely say, "yes, I

did or didn't do something," when in reality you are telling a lie to make

your life a little easier. The submissive also has to trust that the Dominant

will fulfill their responsibilities to the submissive. If the Dominant does not

fulfill these responsibilities, the submissive may slowly start to rebel, often

not realizing what they are doing until it is too late. The decisions and

choices you make with respect to unsupervised obedience will be your own....

TRUST

means that you as a submissive know that

your Dominant will do he following......

A) Can I as s submissive trust you as my Dominant not to harm me ?

As your submissive, I do trust you  my dominant !

B) Can I as a submissive trust you as my Dominant to keep me safe ?

As your submissive, I do trust you my Dominant to keep me 

safe, and to not harm or hurt me. 

C) Do I as a submissive behave in ways that are trustworthy towards

my Dominant ?

As your submissive, I pray that my behavior will always 

be trustworthy towards my dominant.

D) Will I as the submissive promise to always be trustworthy towards 

my Dominant ?

As your submissive, I promise that I will always be

trustworthy towards my Dominant.

E) A question for the Dominant partner. Will you as my Dominant    

always be trustworthy towards me you submissive ?

This is where my Dominant would answer !!

F) Can you think of a few more questions ? If yes, write them down,

and ask your Dominant !

Will you Sir as my Dominant always truthfully tell me

your submissive, if and when I have ever disrespected,

displeased, disappointed, or lied to you my Dominant ?

Do you my Dominant promise to tell me everything that

I need to know truthfully, honestly, and lovingly ??

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

Master Jamy

Today's to do list :

1) After reading everything today spend a few moments thinking about trust, and 

then please answer all the about question's in you discussion section of 

your file, and send the answers you came up with to your Dominant.

2) Write abut trust in your discussion section of your file and send a photo of it to

your Dominant.

3) Write trust on your Ice cream stick and keep it.

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Trust                                  Day 08/30

Trust is one of the most important things in the building blocks

in an relationship. A Dominant needs to be able to trust His 

submissive. It goes the same way for the submissive, she

needs her Dominant's trust in her and she needs to fully

trust her Dominant, to do what is right for them. 

In the lifestyle of BDSM without trust there is no relationship.

You need to be able to trust your partner, not only to be open,

truthful and honest with yourself and with your Dominant.

The same goes for the Dominant as well.

The submissive needs to have complete trust in her Dominant

that He will keep her safe, never harm her and that He

will protect, love ,respect, cherish His submissive.

If you don't trust ( or as of yesterday, I got confused and had 

doubted my Sir's message (March 29, 2018)) your Dominant, 

your life could be in danger, and you could end up like I did

years ago, end up in a hospital fighting for my life. 

Trust and doubt go together, and when you doubt your Dominant

you risk the relationship . 

TRUST is important !!!!

☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁☁

I hope you enjoyed reading my lessons on Trust, Honesty, Respect...

I learned a valuable lesson yesterday

I disappointed my Sir because of Doubt

As a submissive that is the most crushing feeling that He is disappointed

in you. And today as I reflect over it all, I can feel His

disappointment in me by His silent and quite words.

I just hope and pray that Sir will forgive me and we can work through it.

I accept His choice of punishment for this submissive. 

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