submissivelycurious: My Submissive Maroon Lesson.........

Submissive Training Course

Maroon Day 15/30

What A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

What will you need to complete today?

Pen.

When you’re a Dominant, you’ll be the one who is going to tell the submissive what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. However those parts of your relationship might seem clearer than other parts. While the submissive might think they simply have to follow your orders, they need to do more for you than they may have expected at first. Here are eleven things that your submissive can do for a Dominant in order to make your job easier.

The submissive must be Honest:

While it should go without saying, everyone in any relationship should be honest and clear with each other. When a sub isn’t clear about what they are feeling or what they need, then the Master or Mistress isn’t going to be able to help. Likewise, if the Dominant isn’t honest, then the submissive isn’t going to know what they have done wrong and how they can fix it. Honesty is imperative so everyone gets what they want from the relationship.

The submissive must communicate:

Hand in hand with honesty is the need for communication. So a submissive needs to always be willing to talk with their Master or Mistress on a regular basis. This might look like a regularly scheduled meeting or some other agreed upon communication tool. In doing so, there will be times for bigger things to be discussed and problems to be solved outside of the scene.

With these ‘musts,’ the submissive will be able to perform their tasks well – and you as the Dominant will be able to focus on what you need to do: train and control.

With that said, a Dominant should never punish a sub for communicating honestly with them. As all the Dominant does is teach the submissive to do is avoid being open and honest. That doesn’t mean a sub can’t learn how to politely and respectfully communicate these honest thoughts.

The submissive should learn Their Responsibilities:

While it seems like it would be a natural part of the Dom/sub relationship, some submissive’s just don’t realize that they need to understand what is expected of them (as agreed upon by both partners). They need to be able to take on those responsibilities without being told hundreds of times they need to do X or Y. If the submissive isn’t trying to learn their responsibilities, they might be better off not being in a relationship where responsibilities are necessary.

That means a submissive always needs to be responsible and accountable for their actions. If a person is not willing to be either of these, than they might prefer a role as a baby girl, brat, puppy or some other kind of role play where they can just enjoy the moments you share together.

There is nothing wrong with a person not wanting to take on the responsibilities of a submissive. However, a person should never ask a Dominant to take on the responsibilities of a Dominant, if they are not willing to take on the responsibilities of a submissive. It is crucial that both Dominant and submissive accept their responsibilities within an agreed upon Dom/sub relationship.

The submissive should be Patient:

A lot of resources will talk about how the Master or Mistress in a relationship needs to be patient with the submissive, but that doesn’t always happen in the other direction. While you might be the Dominant, your submissive needs to be patient with you, as you don’t always know exactly what to do and when to do it. Dominants are human after all and are prone to make mistakes from time to time.

Or you might have longer term plans in place for your sub, which means they might not get what they want right away. A submissive who isn’t understanding or patient is one that isn’t listening to their Master or Mistress. They’re just trying to ‘top from the bottom.’

The submissive should be Practical and Realistic:

Yes, many subs want to be controlled 24/7 and they want to be thrown into a dungeon in the dark. But bills still need to be paid, and most relationships have other things that need attention. A submissive needs to realize sometimes responsibilities outside of the Dom/sub relationship need to be looked after before the Dominant can focus on their submissive. They will get attention when it’s time to get attention, but only after life responsibilities have been taken care of.

The submissive should be Understanding and Sympathetic:

A submissive must know that regular life stressors can become overwhelming for a Dominant just like it can for a submissive. Not only should a Dominant not train/play during these times, they may not have any desire too.

Many submissive’s struggle with the same issues, and when overwhelmed with life stressors can lose their desire to serve. An understanding ear and sympathetic hand can go a long way to helping a person deal with such stress. If a submissive expects this, a Dominant should be no different.

We all need help when times get tough. Yes, even Dominants need a helping hand from time to time.

The submissive must try To Learn:

A submissive who is coming into a training session without maintaining their knowledge is one who isn’t giving 100%. So a submissive MUST be willing to learn from each session. Sure, you will have off days now and again, but the more they practice and the more a sub focuses on their role, the more they will retain. If the sub isn’t retaining knowledge, they may need to go back to basic sessions until they can hold onto the information they have been given.

This really goes back to responsibilities. If the sub asked to be submissive, part of their role is learning and maintaining that information. If the submissive is not willing or does not want to learn, perhaps they just don’t want the responsibility of being a submissive.

Again, there is nothing wrong with that, as a person’s kink is their kink and should be enjoyed how they want. With that said, there is nothing more frustrating putting in the time and energy to teach someone who never wanted to learn in the first place. This is why it’s important to know a person’s true desires from the start.

The submissive should Practice Discretion:

Sadly, BDSM is still frowned upon and misunderstood by most people. So it is usually a good idea to keep the Dom/sub side of the relationship and training details secret from most people in your life. I have known many people who have lost friends, been disowned by parents and/or been fired from a job for revealing their BDSM desires. If the Dominant and the submissive aren’t in a community that supports BDSM, it is usually safer to keep details about a Dom/sub relationship private.

It is best to only share information with someone outside of the relationship who you know is either open-minded in regards to BDSM or who can truly be trusted to be able to maintain your privacy but still look out for your best interest. Also it can always be helpful for a submissive to talk to others about relationships, kinks and BDSM struggles from time to time. However, it tends to be better to have someone who is kink friendly, as they will understand your need for discretion.

If both partners can not agree on the trustworthiness of an individual than private information about the relationship should not be shared. Remember, it is both people’s (Dom & sub) reputation and life that could be affected by this information being spread to the wrong person.

BDSM is not illegal or immoral, but that doesn’t stop some people in this world from judging or discriminating against those who practice it.

The submissive must Trust:

At the start of any relationship, there will be a period when the submissive isn’t sure if they can trust their Dominant. It’s natural; in fact the submissive shouldn’t trust a Dominant until they have proven they are trust worthy. But as time goes on, the submissive needs to be able to let go and trust, if the Dominant has shown that they can be trusted.

Just like in a vanilla relationship, you can not have a strong healthy relationship if there is no trust. If a sub doesn’t trust a Dominant, they’re not going to get the most from the relationship and certainly not the most from the training.

The submissive must be Sane:

A submissive must be clear with their Dominant if they have mental health issues. They need to be clear about their mental state, what they are doing for it, and how they are managing any current issues. A sub that doesn’t talk about their mental health issues, does not continuously work on their mental health, doesn’t work with a professional on their mental health or one that goes off their medications without any warning is one that is not going to be safe in a scene with a Dominant.

It is unsafe for both the Dominant and submissive if either is currently suffering from any mental health issues that are not being dealt with.

The submissive must be in the Present:

Everyone will think on their past at some point or another, but when someone in a relationship continues to bring up the past, it’s going to make it hard to focus on the present day. A submissive must be able to think about what is happening right now, and let go of the past. If a sub notices they are focusing on the past too much, it might be a sign they need to work with a professional on letting go of these past situations.

Of course, there are some things that a submissive needs from a Dominant, so a submissive is able to provide these needs to their Dominant. Don’t think that a Dom/sub relationship is all about the submissive giving to the Dominant; however that will have to be left for another article.

Grand Master Sean

Today's to do list :

1). Write about this in your discussion section and send it to your course trainer and to your

Dominant.

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What A Dominant Needs From A Submissive Maroon Course

Discussion Day 15/30

Your Dominant need these eleven things from His submissive for things to work in

a Dom/sub relationship. The submissive must be Honest. Honesty is important and

imperative so everyone gets what they want from the relationship. The submissive must

communicate, so a submissive needs to always be willing to talk with her Master on a

regular basis. In doing so there will be times for bigger and much more needed things

to be discussed and problems to be solved. The submissive will be able to perform her

her tasks well and her Dominant will be able to focus on what He needs to do and that is

train and control His submissive. The submissive should learn her Responsibilities.

The submissive needs to understand what is expected of her as agreed upon by both

partners. She needs to be able to take charge of those responsibilities without being told

many times what to do, and with responsibility comes accountability for her actions. It

is crucial that both the Dominant and the submissive accept their responsibilities within

their D/s relationship. The submissive should be Patient. While you are the Dominant,

your submissive needs to be patient with you, as after all you don't always know exactly

what to do and when to do it. Dominants are humans after all and are prone to make

mistakes. A submissive who is not understanding or patient is one that isn't listening to

her Master. They're topping from the bottom. The submissive should be Practial and

Realistic. The submissive needs to realize sometimes responsibilities outside of the

Dom/sub relationship needs to be looked after before the Dominant can focus on His

submissive. We all have jobs and bills that need to be paid. The submissive will get her

attention when it's time to get the attention. The submissive should be Understanding

and Sympathetic. Regular life stressor's can become overwhelming for both the

Dominant as well as the submissive. An understanding ear and sympathetic hands can do

much to help a person deal with this stress. If the submissive expects this, a Dominant

should be no different. And yes, even Dominant's need a helping hand at times. The

submissive must Try to Learn. A submissive who is coming into a Training Session
without maintaining her knowledge is one who isn't giving 100%. She as a submissive
Must be willing to learn from each session. The more a sub practices, the more a sub
focuses on her role and the more she will retain. This takes back to responsibilities. If
the submissive asked to be His sub, part of her role is learning and maintaining that
that information. If the submissive is not willing maybe she shouldn't be a submissive.
The submissive should Practice Discretion. Sadly to say that BDSM is still frowned
upon and is not understood by outsiders. So it is usually a good idea to keep the Dom/sub
side of the relationship and training details secret from most people in your life. Many
have lost friends, family, jobs, for revealing their BDSM desires. BDSM is not illegal
or immoral, but that doesn't stop some people in this world from judging or discriminating
against those who practice it. So just be discrete about that part of your life. The submissive
must Trust. Without trust you cannot have a strong healthy relationship. A relationship
is built on trust. There can be a period when the submissive isn't sure if she can trust her
Dominant. That's natural. In fact the submissive shouldn't trust a Dominant until He has
proven He is trust worthy. As time goes by the submissive needs to be able to let go and
trust her Dominant as He has shown He is to be trusted. The submissive must be Sane.
The submissive must be clear with her Dominant if they have any mental health issues,
and what are they, also what she is doing about it and how she is managing any current
issues. It is unsafe for both the Dominant and submissive if either is currently suffering
from any mental health issues that are not being dealt with. The submissive must be in
the Present. Past relationships need to be left in the past. The submissive needs to focus
on the present day, she needs to be able to think on what's happening Now. She needs to
to focus on her Dominant in front of her and their Dom/sub relationship.