While being an unattached submissive can be a difficult thing to live with. It takes
a deep internal searching to discover one's submissive desires, and an amount of courage
to come to terms with them. It's hard to not have someone to serve with your natural desires
and abilities. While I have been searching and learning more about submission and just
being submissive, trying to keep my mind active and it does help having a Dominant that
is interested and helping me deal with issues while I become stronger and more confident
in my submissiveness and learning to retrain my mind (from so called Dominant's that used
and abused and didn't teach me how to serve them). So while I have been searching for more
information I have noticed articles that are showing ways to become a better submissive
and also a better person, while a submissive wait's for to be ready to serve a Dominant of their
own.
These are some of the things that I found that a submissive, she/he can do while being
an unattached submissive and not under the submission of her/his Dominant.
1. Try to forget about the fact that you're unattached.
There are other areas of your submissive life you can place your attention towards what is it
that you are looking for in a potential partner. Take all the time that you need to figure out
what defines you as a person besides being submissive. Figure out where in your life your
energy with the wonderful people that you surround yourself with. Just because you're
unattached does not mean you are alone in your submissive journey or that you can not
move forwards.
2. Keep a journal.
When you meet a Dominant that has taken interest in you, He might want to know about
your story. Sometimes it get's hard to remember and you might forget to mention things .
It is much easier for Him to read your story, than try to tell it from memory. Writing also
keeps your thoughts in your brain differently. Did you know the physically writing things
down is good for keeping your thoughts organized in your head. Sometimes our thoughts and
desires can get scrambled up, so writing your thought and desires, what you're looking for will
come in handy. It might not make sense to you at first but give your writing some time. It can
help.
3. Make a special place just for yourself.
Everyone does not need to know where you are or what you're doing every minute of every day.
This special place can actually be an actual physical place, or it could be an area in your home.
Your special place, you want it to be a place where you can feel at total ease, where you are
comfortable. It can even be going out to a coffee shop, so then bring along a favorite book to
read and above all leave your phone at home. Many of us submissive's find part of the appeal of
serving is just being able to shut off our minds and let someone else take over. Well this is where
in your special place, you may not be able to shut off your mind but you should be able to quiet
all that buzzing in your mind.
4. Take care of yourself and look after your health.
Remember that one day down the road you will hand over your mind and body to your Dominant.
You want to give them the best possible you that you can be ! So what ever your doing always
keep the thought of your future Sir/Master, always in your mind. If you want a kind, caring and
protective Dominant, then we need to first treat ourselves with a kind, caring and protective
manner, be your version of being good. Be the beautiful person/submissive you are and let her
shine. A rebellious submissive, will attract a rebellious person. A caring and loving submissive
will attract a caring and loving Dominant. Keep up with your health, exercise and take special
care of not only your mind but of your body, remember that your future Dominant will have
control over it and that it will belong to Him.
5. Having no one to serve can be rough.
It is going to be hard when your desire to serve becomes so overwhelming, you will need to
think of other places or situations where you could put this desire to serve to good use. Maybe
offer to show some gratitude to others and do household duties for a family member or for
someone who lives alone, or even volunteer and serve the community. No it will not be the
same as serving a Master/Sir but it can help with your frustrations as well the lives of others by
making their's easier and happier. If you have a loved one or a close friend that you can confide
with of your desires to serve, maybe they can help you.
6. Learn to understand that you only have one body.
Since we only get to have one body we need to love and respect our body. So while you are
unattached this body is yours and deserves your full care and appreciation. Repeat phrases that
you'd want your Master/Sir to say to you. We all need the time to learn what loving yourself
means to you and show yourself that meaning over and over every single day. Make it a habit to
love yourself. Do a mirror meditation, you deserve love, you are love, you are worthy and that
you love yourself. Say all the things you'd want your Master/Sir saying to you, that you;re
beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're special, you're mine, you're safe. Write the phrases down and
shout them out and practice them and practice it. If you say you love yourself, then do it. If you
say your beautiful, then believe it. Believe in yourself and be the best part of you. When you
truly can love yourself, you'll have so much more energy to spend loving those around you. You'll
become so much more comfortable with yourself and your life, you'll feel wonderful.
7. Understand that you can be independent and submissive.
Just because you are unattached does not mean you are lost. There is much more out there in
the world for you to experience. Don't let your relationship status tell you what direction your
life is going to go. Have some fun and take risks, go out there in the world, explore it, you will
never truly know what it is that you like, if you don't try it. Even when your not looking for it,
you just might meet the right person along the way. Submission does not mean that you can't
make decisions for yourself. It means you would prefer to trust someone enough to handover
that responsibility to them.
8. Educate yourself.
Read, have respectful debates. Keep your mind sharp. Our mind is a beautiful and wonderful
thing that makes us who we are. Yes, it is easy to win men over with our bodies, but why not
win them over with our minds. Men are not stupid, they love a beautiful woman with a smart
mind and just might respect you so much more. If I would have known all the things I am
learning now, I would have been better equipped to know the difference between Dominants
and the so called want to be Dominants, there are so many out there that don't care about us
submissive's, all they care about it there gratifications. By educating yourself, you learn there
is a difference between love, trust, respect, consent, and what is abuse. Because you are a
submissive, you are not a doormat to be walked all over, used and abused. You deserve the
best Dominant that will match you.
9. Be kind to yourself.
This part has been hard for me to learn and yes I am still learning it. Even submissive's screw
up and make mistakes. I am only human and I know I will only make more mistakes. Even
unattached submissive's will make mistakes and there is no one there to punish us when we
screw up and we know that when a submissive makes a mistake or screws up, she needs to be
punished. So how do you punish yourself and it does not help yourself to call yourself rotten
names or swear at yourself. There is a chance that you will take it out on yourself physically.
But submissive's need to understand that it's not their responsibility to lay out punishments.
So just stop and think about it, mistakes are made for a reason, they are lessons to learn from.
So learn from your mistake, remember your future Sir/Master won't have a clean slate wither.
We are all human, and all humans make mistakes.
10. Masturbate and have Orgasms.
Seriously go ahead and have as many orgasms as you wish. Masturbate as much as you want.
Since you are an unattached submissive, you have no Master/Sir to own your orgasms, so go
ahead and touch yourself as often as you please as long as it is not interfering with the rest of
your life. There are submissive's that are used to orgasm denial and when they are unattached
are not used to owning their orgasms. Become used to pleasing yourself, talk dirty to yourself,
spank yourself if you choose to, just don't be ashamed of it. Until you are owned this is your
body and you can have orgasms. Own it, it's your body for now. Seriously get to know your
own body and what pleases you and what turns you on and Own It !!!!!
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