My Submissive Journey ---- Submission

                                How to Deepen My Submission

         I think that true submission starts at the edge of your comfort zone.

Thinking on what Submission is while, the essence of my submission is quite simple.

The means of extracting and deepening my submission is this : it's acceptance,

purpose, desire, and happiness.

Before those elements come into play we first must establish a bond of Trust. We

need to communicate to utter honesty and we must agree to communicate about

everything including the good and the bad. We will establish all of those things over

time by testing the waters of our exchange because trust and honesty is strengthened

only when we see direct commitment to it by our partners. The more we sense the

trust the more we trust. The more honest I know my partner is, the more honest I can

be and vice versa.

It's a fluid that grows, changes and deepens as we embrace and indulge in it.

Once we have established and tested the waters and know them to be true, basically

we've walk the walk we talk, then deepening my submission should be simple.

I can be quite opinionated about a lot of things but at the end of the day, my opinions

make me who I am and they make me the submissive I'm meant to be. I think it's incredibly

 important to be honest to your self and for me that also means being honest about my opinion.

My opinions matter only up to the point that they allow me to be honest about who I am, but 

they are not the bases of my submission.

Like many submissives I have some hard limits but apart from that, I view everything

else to be fair game. I may have my opinions on everything but they don't mean that I 

won't submit, nor do they mean that I can't or don't want to submit, what it means is 

that my submission is about more than my opinions.

I want and need acceptance in my submission  !

Overall, I an not a fairly confident person, but I was before and I am working

 in this area to build up the confidence that was destroyed in myself. Abuse can destroy 

your confidence in yourself, and with the correct help from a loving caring Dominant, 

working with me and  retraining my mind to see and learn the difference between

 abuse and the true way. Being confident means of operating and conducting myself

that supports how I wish to be perceived. I take care of my appearance and how I speak.

I make sure that I donduct myself ina way that I can be confident about myself but  there

are often times in my submission that, that very confidence is called into question !!

Times when my mascara is running down my face because I have been brought to tears

during play or punishment, and my hair is a disaster because it's wrapped around Sir's hands 

and smeared onto the bed. Or times when I've been ordered to do things out side of my

comfort zone, Those times I feel far less confident in who I am and who I am in my 

submission, because I worry about that.

I worry about whether I'm still attractive in that moment. I worry whether I'm doing

it right. I worry about whether pushing some of my comfort zones and doing what's 

asked of me could change Sir's opinion of me. Will He look at me differently if I'm

on the floor and purring  like a cat because you asked, will you still find me attractive,

will you still feel that warm glow because I've chosen to submit to you ?

Yes, I'm aware  it's all irrational but I choose to comply and submit because I've been 

asked by my Sir and I endeavor to do everything He asks because I am His submissive 

and I need His Dominance. but when I'm in that moment of uncertainty and I'm

struggling to feel that confidence in my submission I need to know that I will be

accepted. It can be as simple as saying Make you Master proud, I want to see you 

purr for me, I want to see that happiness in your submission. The notion of acceptance

spans a lot of opinions and feelings I have about different types of play and it really

is a very profound and easy way to deepen my submission.  I just need to know that

at the end of the day you won't turn your back on me because I did what you asked

of me to do for you.

I need to know that I am making you happy !!

I need to know that no matter what we do, no matter what He asks of me that it

makes Him happy. That purring like a cat, wearing a tail and saying the alphabet

backwards provides you some source of happiness. Whether it's sexual, mental,

or egotistical, I need to know that I make you happy, that my submission makes

you happy.

Acceptance and Happiness gives me my purpose as a submissive !!

Knowing that I make you happy and knowing that I am accepted for stepping 

outside of my comfort zones and that I can still enjoy some of the very dark and

taboo desires we share gives me purpose.

I firmly believe that at the core of any relationship as much as we all desire to be 

independent we get a secret thrill and warmth at knowing we are depended on each

other for something.  I believe I am not the only source of happiness Master

experiences, but it's a warm glowing feeling for me to know that my submission

provides Him a certain type of happiness.

Maybe that's a selfish need. I'm not quite sure, but I think it's a fundamental desire for 

for all of us to feel needed and to feel purposeful. I get that feeling by knowing I 

am accepted so that I can push the boundaries needed to deepen my submission to

my Master and I want to know that what is asked of me in the process provides

Him satisfaction. 

I believe when we are playing with pushing boundaries or when I am experiencing a

lack of confidence in my submission I will look and seek , to see if I have received

acceptance and a reassurance of His happiness in the moment. In that moment  I

need the acceptance and the reassurance so that I can burn off my reservations and

live completely in that moment consumed by the happiness His Dominance and

my submission brings us.

Ultimately I seek to reach a point in my submission where I no longer require the

reassurances of acceptance or of His happiness because I will inherently feel it in

my heart and soul.

Once I can realize that I can step outside of my comfort zone and make it out the

other side safe and sound by myself, then I will have gained the confidence

necessary. Over time that confidence will grow and the next step will get higher

and they might even enjoy getting pushed without warning. But getting to that 

point will take time. It took a little coaching and encouragement but you did it

because you knew He wanted it and you knew that He would enjoy it.

My submission isn't any different. On certain matters I'm standing on the edge, 

just needing a little encouragement. I need a smile. I need a reminder of who and

what I am and I need to know that I am and that I will make you proud and that

no matter what fail or succeed, you will accept me. The greatest fear is the 

unknown and that's what's on the other side of the task. I know that my need to

submit and that it fulfills Master's desires, along with my own, far outweights

the reservations I have. So I know that it's just about surviving that first jump,

testing it all over again in the second so I can enjoy every ounce of it in my third.

I might be opinionated but my desire to submit and to submit to my Master is far

more important to me then my opinions because I know my safety and wellbeing

should never be in question !!

When I am ready again to enter into a D/s relationship, i want to move deeper

into my submission and deeper into our D/s. But right now it is a simple as

trusting and needing to deepen my confidence and working through other 

things. 

Acceptance.   Purpose.   Happiness.   

Trust.   Honor.   Communication.   Protection. 

Safety.   Respect.   Patience. 

Dominant / submissive 

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My Submission Journey On Being Unattached.....

            While being an unattached submissive can be a difficult thing to live with. It takes
a deep internal searching to discover one's submissive desires,  and an amount of courage
to come to terms with them. It's hard to not have someone to serve with your natural desires
and abilities. While I have been searching and learning more  about submission and just
being submissive, trying to keep my mind active and it does help having a Dominant that
is interested and helping me deal with issues while I become stronger and more confident
in my submissiveness and learning to retrain my mind (from so called Dominant's that used
 and abused and didn't teach me how to serve them). So while I have been searching for more
information I have noticed articles that are showing  ways to become a better submissive
and also a better person, while a submissive wait's for to be ready to serve a Dominant of their
own.

          These are some of the things that I found that  a submissive, she/he can do while being 
an unattached submissive and not under the submission of her/his  Dominant.

1. Try to forget about the fact that you're unattached.
     There are other areas of your submissive life you can place your attention towards what is it
     that you are looking for in a potential partner. Take all the time that you need to figure out 
     what defines you as a person besides being submissive. Figure out where in your life your 
     energy with the wonderful people that you surround yourself with. Just because you're 
     unattached does not mean you are alone in your submissive journey or that you can not
     move forwards.

2.  Keep a journal.
     When you meet a Dominant that has taken interest in you, He might want to know about
     your story. Sometimes it get's hard to remember and you  might forget to mention things .
     It is much easier for Him to read your story, than try to tell it from memory. Writing also
     keeps your thoughts in your brain differently.  Did you know the physically writing things
     down is good for keeping your thoughts organized in your head. Sometimes our thoughts and
     desires can get scrambled up, so writing your thought and desires, what you're looking for will
     come in handy. It might not make sense to you at first but give your writing some time. It can
     help.

3.  Make a special place just for yourself.
     Everyone does not need to know where you are or what you're doing every minute of every day.
     This special place can actually be an actual physical place, or it could be an area in your home.
     Your special place, you want it to be a place where you can feel at total ease, where you are
     comfortable. It can even be going out to a coffee shop, so then bring along a favorite book to
     read and above all leave your phone at home. Many of us submissive's find part of the appeal of
     serving is just being able to shut off our minds and let someone else take over. Well this is where
     in your special place, you may not be able to shut off your mind but you should be able to quiet
     all that buzzing in your mind.

4.  Take care of yourself and look after your health.
     Remember that one day down the road you will hand over your mind and body to your Dominant.
     You want to give them the best possible you that you can be ! So what ever your doing always
     keep the thought of your future Sir/Master, always in your mind. If you want a kind, caring and
     protective Dominant, then we need to first treat ourselves with a kind, caring and protective 
     manner, be your version of being good. Be the beautiful person/submissive you are and let her
     shine. A rebellious submissive, will attract a rebellious person. A caring and loving submissive 
     will attract a caring and loving Dominant. Keep up with your health, exercise and take special
     care of not only your mind but of your body, remember that your future Dominant will have
     control over it and that it will belong to Him.

5.  Having no one to serve can be rough.
     It is going to be hard when your desire to serve becomes so overwhelming, you will need to 
     think of other places or situations where you could put this desire to serve to good use. Maybe
     offer to show some gratitude to others and do household duties for a family member or for
     someone who lives alone, or even volunteer and serve the community. No it will not be the
     same as serving a Master/Sir but it can help with your frustrations as well the lives of others by
     making their's easier and happier. If you have a loved one or a close friend that you can confide
     with of your desires to serve, maybe they can help you. 

6.  Learn to understand that you only have one body.
     Since we only get to have one body we need to love and respect our body. So while you are
     unattached this body is yours and deserves your full care and appreciation. Repeat phrases that
     you'd want your Master/Sir to say to you. We all need the time to learn what loving yourself
     means to you and show yourself that meaning over and over every single day. Make it a habit to
     love yourself. Do a mirror meditation, you deserve love, you are love, you are worthy and that
     you love yourself. Say all the things you'd want your Master/Sir saying to you, that you;re 
     beautiful, you're gorgeous, you're special, you're mine, you're safe. Write the phrases down and
     shout them out and practice them and practice it. If you say you love yourself, then do it. If you
     say your beautiful, then believe it. Believe in yourself and be the best part of you. When you 
     truly can love yourself, you'll have so much more energy to spend loving those around you. You'll
     become so much more comfortable with yourself and your life, you'll feel wonderful.

7.  Understand that you can be independent and submissive.
     Just because you are unattached does not mean you are lost. There is much more out there in
     the world for you to experience. Don't let your relationship status tell you what direction your 
     life is going to go. Have some fun and take risks, go out there in the world, explore it, you will
     never truly know what it is that you like, if you don't try it. Even when your not looking for it,
     you just might meet the right person along the way. Submission does not mean that you can't
     make decisions for yourself. It means you would prefer to trust someone enough to handover
     that responsibility to them. 

8.  Educate yourself.
     Read, have respectful debates. Keep your mind sharp. Our mind is a beautiful and wonderful 
     thing that makes us who we are. Yes, it is easy to win men over with our bodies, but why not
     win them over with our minds. Men are not stupid, they love a beautiful woman with a smart
     mind and just might respect you so much more. If I would have known all the things I am 
     learning now, I would have been better equipped to know the difference between Dominants 
     and the so called  want to be Dominants, there are so many out there that don't care about us
     submissive's, all they care about it there gratifications. By educating yourself, you learn there
     is a difference between love, trust, respect, consent, and what is abuse. Because you are a
     submissive, you are not a doormat to be walked all over, used and abused. You deserve the
     best Dominant that will match you.

9.  Be kind to yourself.
     This part has been hard for me to learn and yes I am still learning it. Even submissive's screw
     up and make mistakes. I am only human and I know I will only make more mistakes. Even 
     unattached submissive's will make mistakes and there is no one there to punish us when we
     screw up and  we know that when a submissive makes a mistake or screws up, she needs to be
     punished. So how do you punish yourself and it does not help yourself to call yourself rotten
     names or swear at yourself. There is a chance that you will take it out on yourself physically.
     But submissive's need to understand that it's not their responsibility to lay out punishments.
     So just stop and think about it, mistakes are made for a reason, they are lessons to learn from.
     So learn from your mistake, remember your future Sir/Master won't have a clean slate wither.
     We are all human, and all humans make mistakes.

10. Masturbate and have Orgasms.
     Seriously go ahead and have as many orgasms as you wish. Masturbate as much as you want.
     Since you are an unattached submissive, you have no Master/Sir to own your orgasms, so go
     ahead and touch yourself as often as you please as long as it is not interfering with the rest of
     your life. There are submissive's that are used to orgasm denial and when they are unattached
     are not used to owning their orgasms. Become used to pleasing yourself, talk dirty to yourself,
     spank yourself if you choose to, just don't be ashamed of it. Until you are owned this is your
     body and you can have orgasms. Own it, it's your body for now. Seriously get to know your
     own body and what pleases you and what turns you on and Own It !!!!!

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Ways to makeup for a mistake as a submissive ....

            While I was searching for ways to help me learn for ways to teach me the
 things I need to know when I displease my Dominant or if I even fail at doing a task.
These are some of the things I found that I could do to learn to be a better submissive.
But first I should apologize , this is my Wednesday's submissive journey blog and
I am a day late in doing my post. Please forgive my lateness.


         Even though I try to be the best submissive you can be, there will be times when you 
 fail. There will be times when you let your Dominant down and that they are displeased with
 me. Even though hopefully trying not to make my Dominant made at me, but when I do 
disappoint Him, I can use this as a learning opportunity allowing me to become better in my
 role and more effective in my submissive title.

Know what I did !!!
          There will be times, that I might not understand what it is that I did wrong, even if I
know that my Dominant is displeased. It does make sense to begin the process of atonement
by learning what the problem is/ or what I did wrong. It is best to talk with your Dominant
and ask Him to tell me what I should have done differently. In addition I should search within
myself to find out what I feel I did wrong. There are other layers to my submissive nature, and
I may find out there are some emotional blocks that have stopped me in my goal to please my
Dominant.

Learn what I can do !!
           Maybe I should also want to ask my Dominant what He would rather that I would have
done at the time of my failing in my role. When I do this, I can try to learn as many specifics as
possible, since this will ensure I understand exactly what I did, how I needed to act, and what I
will do the next time I am in that situation again.

Ask for Guidance !!
          To show that I am not simply asking my Dominant for the answers, let your Dominant
know that you are interested in learning how to make up for mistakes when they do happen. Be
clear in talking with my Dominant about how I want to do better and that it would be helpful to
me to find out what else He might need from me in order to move forwards and past this
situation.

Request Forgiveness !!
            Once I have found out what I have done wrong, thought about it, and corrected what
needs to be corrected, I need to ask my Dominant for forgiveness. This might be something
that you will ask for after a few days, since I want to show Him that I have thought on my
mistake and that I understand that I have disappointed Him. Also realize too that He might
not forgive me immediately and be graceful in accepting this decision as well.

Don't Repeat the Mistake !!
          The best thing that I can do once I have made a mistake is to make sure that I never ever 
do it again ! While it is true that i am human and that I am going to make mistakes, when I am
in a submissive role, it is best for me to make sure that I am diligent about learning from those
mistakes. I will need to spend my time finding out how I can overcome my human propensity
for errors. Practice the behaviors that are acceptable and practice shifting my mind to successful
submission.
          

           For most of the time, mistakes that do happen will be corrected and life in my submissive
world will move onward and forwards. I must remember that I am responsible for my learning
and my growth as a submissive and it is my duty to make sure that I make up for the mistake as
much as I can ---- by learning and applying the lessons correctly.

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My Submissive Plants.......

                                             December 4th -- 10th, 2017


                           Oh I did a little moving again with some of my plants and
           thought they needed to be moved. The cold air from being too near the
           windows, well they did not like it. So I moved them closer into the room.
           It does not help with the weather, the low clouds and the plants need sun
           light to stay healthy and grow better, but they have not seen the sun for
           over ten days now and hopefully as the weather man says, maybe tomorrow
          or Tuesday we should begin to see some sun peaking out. I hope so, I do 
          miss the sun's rays myself.

I have been thinking of trans planting these two large Pineapple

plants into the one planter, what do you think ???

If one of the large planters is empty, then I can trans plant the five

plants in the green ceramic planter that I made some years back, and

the plants can grow bigger better. That sound like a good

plan, don't you think so ????

Those gifts were still from my Birthday last month.  I thought I 

would save the chocolates and wine for christmas eve or

New Year's Eve !!

👄👄👄👄

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The Beauty of Submission

So many people view Dom/sub relationships to be these dark evil lifestyle

choices, that strips one person of all their power, choice and freedoms.

This is not the truth.

I think the problem could be that many people view these images through their

own eyes. They assume that a person must be under severe duress to do any

kind of submissive act, because they personally would need to be forced under

duress to do such a subservient act.

What they are forgetting is that this world includes a variety of different people.

Each individual enjoys life different and as long as my  interests are legal I am 

 free to enjoy them.

A Dom/sub relationship is meant to be a healthy loving supportive relationship

between two consenting adults. While one may see the submissive as powerless,

not all submissives see their activities as empowering. It takes an incredibly 

strong person to absolutely trust another person to become completely vulnerable. 

( a submissive should not make herself that vulnerable or trust so 

completely to just any Dominant or anyone).

One person views submission as the elimination of choice, while many

submissives believe it is the ultimate choice. 

Every person that enters into a Dom/sub relationship in this day and age does so

of their own free will. The fact that they choose to serve another is breathtaking.

Since it is not a choice that you would not choose, does not mean you can

criticize my choice. Don't we all not search for meaning in our lives ?

Then to find something that feels natural,  and makes me happy comes freely.

Many of us submissives, serving gives us the freedom from our own ego,

and self. It's a state of enlightenment many struggle to achieve.

While still in my journey, this submissive is still learning

and growing. 

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Submissive Plants

                                            My submissive plants for December 3, 2017

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas Season 

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