My Submissive Journey...........

                                            As my submission journey continues and is in a state of suspended

position, and as my Master said -- " I am released, until I fulfill His request " --  when I can

fulfill His request I will be taken back under His wing and authority.  I fight with my submission

every day now because I just can't fulfill my Master's request. 

I stated on the social site of facebook that my relationship with Master  has ended --

since I am under suspension of released. As a submissive I find this very hard to work through

and that I have failed my Master and myself as a submissive. 

                                            To let me explain my situation of why I am fighting with my 

submission with my Master. We have been together for eight months and live in two different

countries but within four hours by plane we can be together. Master  knows that I fight

with the fact that He has more submissive's under His authority, which is His right since He is

poly and I am not. I don't like to share my Dominant and Master Knew that and He still persued

me until He had my submission. In this last December I was ordered to find Him a new girl for

Him to play with. This went against my natural instinct and I was fighting with it and tried to do

as ordered and I failed. He did not like her, find me one that I will want to play with and you will

be like a mommy for her.

                                       I just could not do this, it went against everything in me as a submissive

in my hard limits. Because I said I can't do it ( not that I won't, I tried )  but I can't find someone

for you to play with, when this request hurt's my submissive heart and is being  disrespectful

towards me.   So after some major silence from Master, He came back and said that I am under a

suspended release until I fulfill His orders , and to this day still He Ignores my pleas to speak with

me.  I am lost here in this submission to Master and since He refused to speak with me, I've

decided to move forwards and on........... My vacation will be a relief to have some fun and try

to heal and forget.............  The sad is I loved Him and life goes on and on and on.......

                                  And so must I move on........................